Friday, July 09, 2004
You know what, I think I have stepped into something I want to learn more about. After my post I just started doing some research to see if I could find some kind of data to use for the equation when I found this How to win the one you want... I found this so interesting because it goes along with changing the values in the equation to get the desired effect. You know this whole site is fairly interesting, but let me continue on with what I was doin in the first place. I see my next stop has landed me at MSN, with a story about finding those "missed connections". Going along with the articles my search came across a July 2002 archive at Greatboyfriends.com. Consum-mate.com another hop along the journey, this seems more like on where to find the people you like. Beingaman.com will probably be my last stop for the day, I think I've probably found enough research items to further develop my thesis. I think that with all of this it will bring me to the subject of "Game", all in all it should be a good post.
True love is when your heart and your mind are saying the same thing.
I think I've probably debated, talked, and thought over the whole friends
dating issue just about long enough now. Different people have different
views and different stories, I think under it all they are all pretty much
the same though. It's hard to piece together what exactly is the same
between them all but I can get a general picture. I do think there are
different degrees to this friendship to dating ratio. I think alot of it has
to do with how a woman classifies a man from the very beginning, then how
the man plans on persuing things from the start. It's kind of like the Chaos Theoryin affect,
there are precise values that start off this equation and bring it to its
solution. Of course you change the values you change the equation, thereby
changing the results. Now.... Can you change the value of that equation
after it has already been calculated? That is a very good question. So for
this to work it would have to be more of probability question, instead of a
simple math equation. Then you start talking about things like "certain and
impossible events" , dependant events, and conditional probability... you
know things like that. So like the probability of someone dating a friend
would probably rely on the probablity that there are feelings... mutual or
not. Maybe you can add in the probability of attraction, Past events also
play a role in this If a person has been in a similiar situation before then
they will definitely lean more towards a certain answer. A person's outlook
on how the future is gonna play out has something to offer. So let's see
P(FriendsDating) = (P(Feelings) * P(Attraction) * P(PastEvents) *
P(Expectations)* (Game *.01) * (Attitude *.01))/P(CoEDFriend). This is just something off the top of my
head, so the probability that you would wind up in a relationship with a
friend of yours would probably be based on the probability of feelings,
attraction, past events, and future outlooks all on top of the probability
of even being able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Now the
exact probablities of each of these events... I'm not sure of. Maybe
researching that will be my next goal or somethin.... but its a rough
outline off the top of my head. What does it really mean? Does it give the
much needed insight into the world of dating? ..... No, but it could get you
to think a little bit more though.
dating issue just about long enough now. Different people have different
views and different stories, I think under it all they are all pretty much
the same though. It's hard to piece together what exactly is the same
between them all but I can get a general picture. I do think there are
different degrees to this friendship to dating ratio. I think alot of it has
to do with how a woman classifies a man from the very beginning, then how
the man plans on persuing things from the start. It's kind of like the Chaos Theoryin affect,
there are precise values that start off this equation and bring it to its
solution. Of course you change the values you change the equation, thereby
changing the results. Now.... Can you change the value of that equation
after it has already been calculated? That is a very good question. So for
this to work it would have to be more of probability question, instead of a
simple math equation. Then you start talking about things like "certain and
impossible events" , dependant events, and conditional probability... you
know things like that. So like the probability of someone dating a friend
would probably rely on the probablity that there are feelings... mutual or
not. Maybe you can add in the probability of attraction, Past events also
play a role in this If a person has been in a similiar situation before then
they will definitely lean more towards a certain answer. A person's outlook
on how the future is gonna play out has something to offer. So let's see
P(FriendsDating) = (P(Feelings) * P(Attraction) * P(PastEvents) *
P(Expectations)* (Game *.01) * (Attitude *.01))/P(CoEDFriend). This is just something off the top of my
head, so the probability that you would wind up in a relationship with a
friend of yours would probably be based on the probability of feelings,
attraction, past events, and future outlooks all on top of the probability
of even being able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Now the
exact probablities of each of these events... I'm not sure of. Maybe
researching that will be my next goal or somethin.... but its a rough
outline off the top of my head. What does it really mean? Does it give the
much needed insight into the world of dating? ..... No, but it could get you
to think a little bit more though.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
House update - Still not done... At least the kitchen is almost finished, the cabinets are in the plumbing still needs to be done though. I think I may have figured out what I need to do to my laundry room, some indoor outdoor carpet should do the trick. Now exactly which color Im gonna use.... I don't know yet. I don't even know what colors I'm trying to do for the rest of the house. I need to get that together pretty soon......speaking of pretty soon, I have drill this weekend almost forgot. hmmmm ---------------->>>>><<<<<<--------- Ok, yea its still in the back of my mind.... can't seem to shake it. I think I'm to the point to where I need to, for my own sanity sake. ---------------- The 626 is a piece of crap and I really do need to get a new car. If I can just stick to the plan and get a duplex first then I should be able to get the car that I want, instead of just any old thing.
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
It's funny how your heart and your mind sometimes clash against each other on different occasions. I guess I can speak on something that I have experience with on both sides of the fence. Wanting someone that you feel is right for you but that person doesn't feel the same way, I have definitely seen both sides to that. You do however live, learn, and move on.....an experience that you won't forget and one that will definitely change your life. I just watched the butterfly effect...you know the movie Ashton Kutcher changing his past.... Chaos Theory...hmmm... still dont know. Well anyways, one thing that I agree with is that one decision could drastically effect ones life. It was just so crazy how he would go back change something and then everything would be so bad afterwards. The director's cut was pretty crazy, I need to see the regular version to see how much different it is because the endings make it a totally different movie. Anyways, like I said your actions obviously do have a great effect on the rest of your life.... and i just lost my point. Well it was a pretty crazy movie regardless.
Ok, I needed to write something down before I blew up. How in the world can "It may or may not work" be a valid answer for not wanting to get involved with someone. May or may not is the way of the world.... its what happens each and everyday. Its something that we live with and have to deal with everyday. Who am I to say I'm not gonna do something cuz I may fail at it. I may as well lay down and die now because I dont want to attempt anything and not have it work out. I guess that's so easy to say when there is nothing on the line, so what if there is. What if something that you care for alot is hanging in the balance of this may or may not situation.... would you want to risk it. --------------------------STOP EVERYTHING------------ :| That's basically how it is right now. I think its safe to say I should look forward.
I'm gonna write this down so that I make sure to get all my thoughts lined up and my side clear. I really do think that this whole issue of being friends with someone and then turning that into a relationship, is one that's gonna be on my top 10 list of things to talk about. I don't really think there are too many people who share the same point of view as me, but thats not gonna deter me from how I feel about it. Well now that I think about it my parents probably side with me since they were friends before they were together. So that's 2 people to the side of TJ. Now let's see if I can get into the whole nitty gritty of the issue. Why are people so afraid of it, why do they think it is so destined for doom, and can it actually work.
For one I think having a relationship with a person who was your friend first is some kind of urban legend. Everybody's mother-sister-cousin has a horror story of when they had a romantic relationship with a friend that went wrong and it was never the same after. So those horror stories fuel the minds and hearts of people because they never want that same horror to fall upon them. They might as well make a horror movie about it since its so damn frightening. I mean it gets to the point to where when you bring up the subject the only thing that gets discussed is what happens when it doesn't work. What happens when it does work? Where are the horror stories about how people were such good friends and they pursued something more and it turned out great. You never hear about that. Those don't make the good stories, those aren't the ones you can sit and talk about with your friends...the things that went good. Even when I'm sitting around talking with my friends, all the ignorant crazy shit I've done in the past is all that gets talked about. Well I honestly don't think that people will stop being afraid of it or start doing it more just cuz one guy has a different opinion about it. You may not want to disturb what is going on with whatever friendship and you definitely couldnt take it if it didnt work out well. So I can understand why some may feel frightened of it.
Unfortunately starting a relationship with a friend always seems to get that "Doomed to Fail" Stamp of approval. I mean why is that when people always seem to want to get to know their partner on that same sort of level. But if you happen to find someone on that same level beforehand then its all wrong. What is so wrong with it?!? I guess I'm biased because I would want someone to be my friend first. I guess that's kind of like sabotage then, If I start off seeing it as being able to advance to the next stage and not the other person...that's not fair. I think I probably need to look at it that way. For me to say that I would like to be in a relationship with someone I was friends with first is kind of a setup for anyone I become friends with. They're thinking of the situation as friends only and here I am thinking of more than that. So I think I need to look at it from another way then.... I may have to rethink my stance on what I've been doing lately. So how do I get to know someone without being close enough to get to be too good of friends but still be cool enough to where I can learn enough about them to be able to see if its a good match. It used to be so easy before.... I didnt really worry about matching and fitting, if she was pretty then it was cool. I guess I have grown a little bit to know that I want more than that. I guess the only thing I wanted now was something that lasts. I'm not trying to get involved with something that is gonna end a few months from now. I'm not gonna dwell on it too much longer though, I think after writing this I'll probably be well vented and pretty much done.
Why do I think it would work? My parents.... My dad and my stepmother were good friends before they were together and they're doin good. Why else do I think it would work.... If I was in that situation I would want it to work. I don't think what I have to say could really satisfy the masses but its a start for me.
To My Best Friend?
by Shannbodan
This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer -
so off to England I went.
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.
http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=591
I'm gonna write this down so that I make sure to get all my thoughts lined up and my side clear. I really do think that this whole issue of being friends with someone and then turning that into a relationship, is one that's gonna be on my top 10 list of things to talk about. I don't really think there are too many people who share the same point of view as me, but thats not gonna deter me from how I feel about it. Well now that I think about it my parents probably side with me since they were friends before they were together. So that's 2 people to the side of TJ. Now let's see if I can get into the whole nitty gritty of the issue. Why are people so afraid of it, why do they think it is so destined for doom, and can it actually work.
For one I think having a relationship with a person who was your friend first is some kind of urban legend. Everybody's mother-sister-cousin has a horror story of when they had a romantic relationship with a friend that went wrong and it was never the same after. So those horror stories fuel the minds and hearts of people because they never want that same horror to fall upon them. They might as well make a horror movie about it since its so damn frightening. I mean it gets to the point to where when you bring up the subject the only thing that gets discussed is what happens when it doesn't work. What happens when it does work? Where are the horror stories about how people were such good friends and they pursued something more and it turned out great. You never hear about that. Those don't make the good stories, those aren't the ones you can sit and talk about with your friends...the things that went good. Even when I'm sitting around talking with my friends, all the ignorant crazy shit I've done in the past is all that gets talked about. Well I honestly don't think that people will stop being afraid of it or start doing it more just cuz one guy has a different opinion about it. You may not want to disturb what is going on with whatever friendship and you definitely couldnt take it if it didnt work out well. So I can understand why some may feel frightened of it.
Unfortunately starting a relationship with a friend always seems to get that "Doomed to Fail" Stamp of approval. I mean why is that when people always seem to want to get to know their partner on that same sort of level. But if you happen to find someone on that same level beforehand then its all wrong. What is so wrong with it?!? I guess I'm biased because I would want someone to be my friend first. I guess that's kind of like sabotage then, If I start off seeing it as being able to advance to the next stage and not the other person...that's not fair. I think I probably need to look at it that way. For me to say that I would like to be in a relationship with someone I was friends with first is kind of a setup for anyone I become friends with. They're thinking of the situation as friends only and here I am thinking of more than that. So I think I need to look at it from another way then.... I may have to rethink my stance on what I've been doing lately. So how do I get to know someone without being close enough to get to be too good of friends but still be cool enough to where I can learn enough about them to be able to see if its a good match. It used to be so easy before.... I didnt really worry about matching and fitting, if she was pretty then it was cool. I guess I have grown a little bit to know that I want more than that. I guess the only thing I wanted now was something that lasts. I'm not trying to get involved with something that is gonna end a few months from now. I'm not gonna dwell on it too much longer though, I think after writing this I'll probably be well vented and pretty much done.
Why do I think it would work? My parents.... My dad and my stepmother were good friends before they were together and they're doin good. Why else do I think it would work.... If I was in that situation I would want it to work. I don't think what I have to say could really satisfy the masses but its a start for me.
To My Best Friend?
by Shannbodan
This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer -
so off to England I went.
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.
http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=591
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