It's sort of funny how things seem to come back around on you, that whole reaping what you sow thing... yea thats it. I guess I've always been paranoid about it because I know all of the things that I have sowed.....with relationships in particular. Now I'm not saying that I had a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship recently that has shown me that. I do have a friendship though that has shown me that, certain things in my life still have not been dealt with. I think I have come a long ways from before though, I no longer feel bound with trying to keep up these many worlds and many faces that I created. Things have become a lot clearer as well, I still had those things I was holding on to though. Fear of the not known, fear of not having control, fear of being hurt ..... Those will definitely slow down and progress that I feel I may have made. So I guess from now I'll probably try to adopt more of a "Fuck It" approach, not really in a bad way fuck it but just become more open, more vulnerable, and pretty much more receptive. I'm still a really closed off person and I've never wanted to deal with it, now I think I will.

Had the interview today and it went pretty well if I do say so. There were quite a few other people that applied for the position, so we'll have to see how I do against the crowd. I know I would definitely love my job after that, I would actually get to do some techy type stuff. Not to say that I don't already have some tech stuff interlaced into my work, but it's starting to feel a little different now. My job doesnt really feel as techy as it once did before, I guess now I know its just commands you push to bring up the information you need. It's not really much different that having a gui with all the buttons and stuff. Now it just seems kind of backward and outdated, the interface that we use could be alot better but of course there's really not gonna be any research into that. I thought about doing it and trying to come up with some easy to use scripts in PHP or something.... I dunno if I don't get the admin position I may still think of that.

This is something that I wrote up a few years ago

Subject: Privacy Issues...Freedom Issues...
Sent: 10/10/01 1:50 PM EDT
By: tj1037

How many people are really concerned with the privacy and freedom related issues that have been in the news the past few months. Freedom issues which seem to really come to light after all the drama with Napster. Yet people weren`t really for or against Napster for what it was actually doing, helping distribute copyrighted music, everybody was basicallly indifferent. What most people were angry about was the fact that it took away from a lot of freedoms we might have enjoyed before MP3s became commonplace; Fair use is one. Issues against the DMCA (Digital Millennium Copyright Act), which brought the whole online music scene to life, were being fought out by only a few. Now a new bill is headed our way the SSSCA, which basically says that new technology will begin to be made with copy protection controls to prevent anymore illegal copying. This includes any digital content or consumer electronic device, and any violations could result into 5 years in prison or $500,000 in fines. But hey if you don`t watch bootlegs or even burn your own CDs, you might not find any of this scary.

After the Sept. 11th attacks issues related to online privacy have begun to resurface. Such as talks against Americans to have in their possession any type of strong encryption programs. Or even the fact that the government has begun to monitor emails even more than before. As before you might not even shop on websites that use the encryption to process your orders and it might not bother you to have God knows who else reading your emails.

What are your own personal views on this or other subjects like this?

http://www.wired.com/news/politics/0,1283,46747,00.html

http://www.wired.com/news/politics/0,1283,46655,00.html

http://www.msnbc.com/news/TECHPRIVACY_front.asp

http://www.google.com/search?q=dmca

Well tomorrow is the day, I get my chance to be interviewed for the freshly vacant network admin position. It almost seems pointless though as they have already seemed to have found their golden boy. So I guess I could just call this interview practice for any future network admin positions that may come up, more than likely at a different company though. I've been doin customer service for about 2 years now, when I began I was just so excited and pumped at the opportunity to be doing a job even remotely IT related. Now I'm here collecting my check.... Thanks to all of the QA, employee monitoring, and write ups I have lost just about all enthusiasm I once had for my job. I used to always sit and think of ways to try and optimize the way we did our work, the tools that we used, and how we used them. Now it just seems as if it no longer matters, who cares that I use windows NT, who cares about the errors, who cares about the sluggishness, who cares that the customer can not seem to find his message for the umpteenth time.
I need to start looking into some more options before I become a little bit too cynical on the job. I did find something though that may get me going for a little while though. I currently have 2 computers under my work desk: a Windows NT box, and a HP (HP-UX 10.20) box. My thing is that I do not want to log into the HP anymore, I take a few calls every now and then though where I'll have to access stuff on that box because it connects to another server to bring up the data. I don't know where the information is coming from so that I could try and get to it from my windows box. I also do not know how to find out on my HP where it goes to get this stuff. So my thoughts are is that I need to set up some remote sessions on my windows box to access my hp so that I can view my desktop on the hp remotely and access those special links that go to a server I have no clue where its at and get this information I hardly ever use. I think this post may help, it points me in the right direction of Cygwin. I'll have to give it a shot and see what happens.

::: GMAIL INVITES :::

http://gmail.google.com/gmail/a-fdefa7ce32-552fc5c73e-a533042baa

enjoy

Well now that I have my internet connection back up at home after a very long hiatus, I'll probably get back into my filesharing moods. I think the most logical way to go about it for me though is through bittorrent. There is just a better selection of things to chose from, and whatever it is you're bound to find it. I use redhat 8 and wanted a gui to use with it, I did a search and found azureus. It's a java client for bittorrent that I think is just so easy to use with alot of nice features. Also being that its java its pretty portable as well, there are guides for Windows, Linux, and OSX on the site.
I think the next stop for me is getting some help on making up some SVCDs in Linux, since I've never attempted I really don't know how. I found a how-to on Big J's Linux site, I'll follow it and see how it goes.
The house, when I get around to it, is gonna undergo a bit of a tech makeover. I don't have any plans set as of yet but they will be good though.

This article in a way spoke to me, basically dealing with a stressful workload at work and how some can handle it but others can't. I believe I'm one of those that can handle it, I would frequently work later nights working on the next big project that would help everyone. It also says in the article that if you feel that you're just a cog in the whole machine with no say so, no control, and really no position of importance it was a definite cause for burnout. I think I'm on that whole burnout thing right now, I used to like what I do... but now it seems so unimportant. The work I do has become a tedious chore that no longer excites me to think of new ways to make it "better". I just recently applied for a network admin position at our company which would definitely put that spark under me again.... Well lets hope I get it.

Found my motorcycle key though :)

Man... This day is just starting off spectacular, one of those days where every body is hell bent on trying to piss me off. Started off with my dad this morning at 5:45 in the morning hammering shit in my hallway, but hell I needed to get up anyways to finish some work before the carpet people came. So I go to putting down my tile floor that needed to go in before the carpet people came, while he's working on the wood floor that I've previously laid down. He went back through and did some clean up cuts on some of the pieces that I had. From jump I already told him that it was not gonna be a quick 'n easy task because some of the pieces get kind of iffy... him bein my dad doesnt listen anyways. So he's going along cutting and stuff, then it comes time to put the floor down and he was just irritating me to the point where I wanted him to just shut up. No... no... you have to do this this way.... :| Ok man, I already put this floor down once and you're just making up stuff I think I know what I'm talkin about. So he continues on with that and I just don't feel like talking. Then the carpet people come and he's doin his usual thing of hassling the people.... normally I really don't pay any attention when he starts doin that but today I just got even more annoyed. So finally I was done with that situation ..... done, over, forget about it. On my way to work .... la la la la.... ....... You've got to be kidding me ..... Sir, do you know why I pulled you over? ..... Actually, I dont ..... For your cracked windshield and loud music ..... Cracked windshield ...hmmm ok ... loud music?!? grant it I do have some speakers in my trunk, but they were not loud at all. So I'm like .... with my windows up and everything my music cant even get that loud, only a mild rattle of my license plate..... Well I heard bass and I was within 25 feet ..... FINE!!!!! So of course he doesn't give me a ticket for the windshield but for the music instead. All of this of course happens close enough to the time I have to be at work that I am actually late. Then I'm faced with the joyous calls that a tech support guy receives during the daily grind.....I can smell my gears churning.

I was over a Slashdot doing my normal news check of the day when I saw one of the stories on there about how America is so far behind in the broadband race. Compared to a few other countries we are pretty behind in that aspect the speeds you can get over in other countries is something we won't see in awhile. That's unfortunate though, especially me being the techy that I am. I know alot of techno-phobes anyways though, and that's gonna have more impact on us than just being behind in broadband speeds. Give it some years and you'll see.

:( I can't find my motorcycle key

Well the house is almost done .... well I guess it really has been almost done for awhile now. I at least have my stuff in the house though, and its semi-livable. Once things get painted the kitchen should be done and it would probably be the most complete room in the house for right now. So that's cool .....
This QA crap at work is killing me, everything we do is monitored ... phone, email, work tickets. I guess that wouldn't be so bad if we didn't get points taken off for such stupid stuff. It seems that there's a network admin position about to open up so I'll get my resume ready and see what will come of that.

Today was one of those days that you just dread at work, you sit there and just can't get anything accomplished. I was no good today, I couldn't concentrate on anything and I just felt like leaving. Funny thing is, it'll be midnight soon and of course I won't leave work on time because I'll find some last minute stuff to do. For some odd reason I seem to work better after I'm already off... don't know why, just do. I still haven't gotten my tire fixed on my motorcycle yet after its unfortunate accident with a nail. I'll get that fixed soon ... like before next week if I'm really tryin to take it to Milwaukee with me. ::::: Update on the house ::::: Still not done, carry on.
I do however have my phone and my internet up at the house, of course that just leaves me without food and a bathroom but hey those two things were overrated anyways. I just wish this crap would be finished.... I'm ready to move already.

I know everyone is dying to know how my birthday weekend was... Did I do some extra special stuff or any blow out parties or anything? Well I had to go to drill this weekend, so I spent most of it doing army stuff and sleeping. I did however go to P.F. Changs, my friend took me there for my birthday she knew I haven't been so that was nice of her to do that.

Well the site for The Creative Birddog is coming along, I'm getting stuff figured out and put together. I'm working on getting alot of the content together and also getting alot of the things I feel are necessary for the site together. I started putting up alot of the questions for the FAQ, I havent answered them yet but I'll get to that. My birthday is next monday, I'll be the big 25. Exactly what I'm gonna be doin I don't know, but whatever it is I'll be sure to have fun. Of course I have to go do my reserve drill this coming up weekend, so there won't be that much partying goin on this weekend. I would say for a birthday gift to myself I should by some parts for my bike, but I know I was gonna do that anyways so I dont need an excuse. Unfortunately I may need a new rear tire, I found a giant screw in it the other day. Of course after I looked up on how to repair it on the net, Ifound out that I should have just left it in and then just took it to the shop. :| So I guess I'll just be getting me a new rear tire, I'll probably get an ignition advancer and some filters too.

:::100th Post:::

You know what .... I could probably continue on trying to lie to myself and say that I'm not looking for someone to be with and don't have any interest on finding anyone. I could... but I would be lying, I'm not saying that I really want to feel this way right about now not really much I can do to stop it though. I think as long as I don't let that engulf me I'll be ok, I think I've come damn near closed to bein engulfed though. On-line dating, Off-line dating, dating ... dating ... dating... I pretty much stopped before I even really got started. Where do I think my problems lie with that? Sometimes I can tend to be "One-tracked" I may like someone and it would be hard as hell for me to concentrate on finding someone else to like. You may say ... Hey, that's great that you can like someone like that and be so focused on them. The catch to that is, more than likely its not really a mutual exchange at least in most of my situations. So then I have to figure out how to get untracked and get my head back straight. I think with that, to get my head straight I would have to find someone new .... which is just about as difficult. So it makes this into a very interesting scene to watch ... Well I guess if you had the sub-titles from what's going on in my head that would probably make it better.

:::UPDATE:::
Obviously wheelies are not scientifically proven to bring back any forgotten memories..... I tested that theory many many times this morning and it just didn't seem to do it. But hey, at least I can clutch em up now :D

I've reopened my TechLife blog as well.

Well I supposedly had a list of things to do today, but the problem when you don't write down that list.... you tend to forget. I just can't seem to remember that one thing I know I was supposed to do, maybe it'll come to me later. I had actually written up another post yesterday at work but I had left it there without even publishing it.
Well it looks like I'll be back in Milwaukee the weekend of Aug. 21st, I guess I should put in for some vacation time now so I can at least spend more than a couple days there. By the way it sounds I may need to, Javion has this list of things that we need to do: Go to movies to see "Yu-gi-oh", go ice skating, go to Wisconsin dells ..... damn... did i forget that list too? Well his I have written down somewhere, besides he'll probably have more stuff on there before too long.
I need to get working on my bike pretty soon, not looking forward to that. The 2nd gear is out and its gonna be a pain in the ass to get it fixed, I've said I was going to attempt the fix myself instead of taking it to the shop..... Don't know if thats good or bad but we'll find out. I think today I may go practice some wheelies for a little while though, maybe that'll jog my memory.

Today was actually a pretty good day for no reason at all, I got all GQd up and went to work. I just felt good. I may try to go out somewhere tonight that will depend. I might go down to the Oregon District and go to sloopy's or somethin. I dunno, we'll see.

Hmmm...How is my day going? How do I really feel? I'm not really sure I'm
pissed off but I don't really know about what. It almost feels like an "I
told you so to myself", I realized that dating sucks and I'm not even
dating. Hell even liking people sucks... I guess it only sucks when things
don't go your way I guess. Does that make me a brat cuz I don't like it when
things go my way? Kinda, I think how I deal with it after the fact is what
determines that. I can either sit in a pit of "Whoa as me" or I can suck it
up and drive on.

My dad told me today that I look like someone stole my puppy or something. I don't look that bad.... What exactly is wrong I don't know. It could be one thing or it could be many, I'm just too tired to figure out. I'm supposed to be meeting this lady tomorrow so I can try and get pre-approved so I can try and get this house. It's a bank owned property and they'll probably act like they don't want to get rid of it... but its cool, we'll see what happens. Other than that everything is cool I guess.... car is still crap and house is still not finished. Same old, same old.

I really don't feel like doing crap today, so that's gonna translate into a very fun day at work. I don't even know what's wrong....I need to go back to sleep or something. Hmmm.... well until later.

I guess I can talk a little bit about game since I don't feel like doing anything else. I'm not sure if everybody really realizes this that everything has some sort of game involved. It's called by different names when it comes to certain areas but it's all game, there are different rules involved depending on what you want and what you doin. The most recognized as "game" is how it relates to dating & relationships. There's always talk about people who got game, got no game, even got some lame game but then you don't want to come across someone that plays the game or plays games period. It's not really the fact of them playing games, its when they play different games than you do when it gets real. You don't want somebody to run game on you and make you look silly, that's just our nature to feel that way. Well.... I'm so lazy I'm not gonna finish this post, I'll edit it later. So if you're reading this.... then I'm still being lazy and I still haven't edited this.

You ever have one of those where you really don't feel like doing anything..... Today is one of those days for me. I've been workin, but not near the intensity in which i probably need to be at. I don't know what it is but I just feel drained right now. I just need to go home and do nothing.

Another day, Another drill weekend.... It wasn't so bad really. I mean a picnic on Sat. and an all day urinalysis on Sun. So basically we did nothing the whole time, I even came late today so I really didn't do anything. Our old First Sergeant... First Sergeant Richter is back :( definitely un-hooah. We'll see how this is going to work out. I really need to get to workin on my bike as well, the 2nd gear is just completely gone and its drivin me crazy. From the instructions I found it didnt seem too difficult... just time consuming. So one day I'll work on that, one day after I get moved into the house. Supposedly I'll be able to get in by next weekend so we'll see about that.

You know what, I think I have stepped into something I want to learn more about. After my post I just started doing some research to see if I could find some kind of data to use for the equation when I found this How to win the one you want... I found this so interesting because it goes along with changing the values in the equation to get the desired effect. You know this whole site is fairly interesting, but let me continue on with what I was doin in the first place. I see my next stop has landed me at MSN, with a story about finding those "missed connections". Going along with the articles my search came across a July 2002 archive at Greatboyfriends.com. Consum-mate.com another hop along the journey, this seems more like on where to find the people you like. Beingaman.com will probably be my last stop for the day, I think I've probably found enough research items to further develop my thesis. I think that with all of this it will bring me to the subject of "Game", all in all it should be a good post.

True love is when your heart and your mind are saying the same thing.

I think I've probably debated, talked, and thought over the whole friends
dating issue just about long enough now. Different people have different
views and different stories, I think under it all they are all pretty much
the same though. It's hard to piece together what exactly is the same
between them all but I can get a general picture. I do think there are
different degrees to this friendship to dating ratio. I think alot of it has
to do with how a woman classifies a man from the very beginning, then how
the man plans on persuing things from the start. It's kind of like the Chaos Theoryin affect,
there are precise values that start off this equation and bring it to its
solution. Of course you change the values you change the equation, thereby
changing the results. Now.... Can you change the value of that equation
after it has already been calculated? That is a very good question. So for
this to work it would have to be more of probability question, instead of a
simple math equation. Then you start talking about things like "certain and
impossible events" , dependant events, and conditional probability... you
know things like that. So like the probability of someone dating a friend
would probably rely on the probablity that there are feelings... mutual or
not. Maybe you can add in the probability of attraction, Past events also
play a role in this If a person has been in a similiar situation before then
they will definitely lean more towards a certain answer. A person's outlook
on how the future is gonna play out has something to offer. So let's see
P(FriendsDating) = (P(Feelings) * P(Attraction) * P(PastEvents) *
P(Expectations)* (Game *.01) * (Attitude *.01))/P(CoEDFriend). This is just something off the top of my
head, so the probability that you would wind up in a relationship with a
friend of yours would probably be based on the probability of feelings,
attraction, past events, and future outlooks all on top of the probability
of even being able to be friends with someone of the opposite sex. Now the
exact probablities of each of these events... I'm not sure of. Maybe
researching that will be my next goal or somethin.... but its a rough
outline off the top of my head. What does it really mean? Does it give the
much needed insight into the world of dating? ..... No, but it could get you
to think a little bit more though.

House update - Still not done... At least the kitchen is almost finished, the cabinets are in the plumbing still needs to be done though. I think I may have figured out what I need to do to my laundry room, some indoor outdoor carpet should do the trick. Now exactly which color Im gonna use.... I don't know yet. I don't even know what colors I'm trying to do for the rest of the house. I need to get that together pretty soon......speaking of pretty soon, I have drill this weekend almost forgot. hmmmm ---------------->>>>><<<<<<--------- Ok, yea its still in the back of my mind.... can't seem to shake it. I think I'm to the point to where I need to, for my own sanity sake. ---------------- The 626 is a piece of crap and I really do need to get a new car. If I can just stick to the plan and get a duplex first then I should be able to get the car that I want, instead of just any old thing.

Email Blogging

I just wanted to test and see if my email blogging is working.... carry on.

It's funny how your heart and your mind sometimes clash against each other on different occasions. I guess I can speak on something that I have experience with on both sides of the fence. Wanting someone that you feel is right for you but that person doesn't feel the same way, I have definitely seen both sides to that. You do however live, learn, and move on.....an experience that you won't forget and one that will definitely change your life. I just watched the butterfly effect...you know the movie Ashton Kutcher changing his past.... Chaos Theory...hmmm... still dont know. Well anyways, one thing that I agree with is that one decision could drastically effect ones life. It was just so crazy how he would go back change something and then everything would be so bad afterwards. The director's cut was pretty crazy, I need to see the regular version to see how much different it is because the endings make it a totally different movie. Anyways, like I said your actions obviously do have a great effect on the rest of your life.... and i just lost my point. Well it was a pretty crazy movie regardless.

Ok, I needed to write something down before I blew up. How in the world can "It may or may not work" be a valid answer for not wanting to get involved with someone. May or may not is the way of the world.... its what happens each and everyday. Its something that we live with and have to deal with everyday. Who am I to say I'm not gonna do something cuz I may fail at it. I may as well lay down and die now because I dont want to attempt anything and not have it work out. I guess that's so easy to say when there is nothing on the line, so what if there is. What if something that you care for alot is hanging in the balance of this may or may not situation.... would you want to risk it. --------------------------STOP EVERYTHING------------ :| That's basically how it is right now. I think its safe to say I should look forward.



I'm gonna write this down so that I make sure to get all my thoughts lined up and my side clear. I really do think that this whole issue of being friends with someone and then turning that into a relationship, is one that's gonna be on my top 10 list of things to talk about. I don't really think there are too many people who share the same point of view as me, but thats not gonna deter me from how I feel about it. Well now that I think about it my parents probably side with me since they were friends before they were together. So that's 2 people to the side of TJ. Now let's see if I can get into the whole nitty gritty of the issue. Why are people so afraid of it, why do they think it is so destined for doom, and can it actually work.
For one I think having a relationship with a person who was your friend first is some kind of urban legend. Everybody's mother-sister-cousin has a horror story of when they had a romantic relationship with a friend that went wrong and it was never the same after. So those horror stories fuel the minds and hearts of people because they never want that same horror to fall upon them. They might as well make a horror movie about it since its so damn frightening. I mean it gets to the point to where when you bring up the subject the only thing that gets discussed is what happens when it doesn't work. What happens when it does work? Where are the horror stories about how people were such good friends and they pursued something more and it turned out great. You never hear about that. Those don't make the good stories, those aren't the ones you can sit and talk about with your friends...the things that went good. Even when I'm sitting around talking with my friends, all the ignorant crazy shit I've done in the past is all that gets talked about. Well I honestly don't think that people will stop being afraid of it or start doing it more just cuz one guy has a different opinion about it. You may not want to disturb what is going on with whatever friendship and you definitely couldnt take it if it didnt work out well. So I can understand why some may feel frightened of it.
Unfortunately starting a relationship with a friend always seems to get that "Doomed to Fail" Stamp of approval. I mean why is that when people always seem to want to get to know their partner on that same sort of level. But if you happen to find someone on that same level beforehand then its all wrong. What is so wrong with it?!? I guess I'm biased because I would want someone to be my friend first. I guess that's kind of like sabotage then, If I start off seeing it as being able to advance to the next stage and not the other person...that's not fair. I think I probably need to look at it that way. For me to say that I would like to be in a relationship with someone I was friends with first is kind of a setup for anyone I become friends with. They're thinking of the situation as friends only and here I am thinking of more than that. So I think I need to look at it from another way then.... I may have to rethink my stance on what I've been doing lately. So how do I get to know someone without being close enough to get to be too good of friends but still be cool enough to where I can learn enough about them to be able to see if its a good match. It used to be so easy before.... I didnt really worry about matching and fitting, if she was pretty then it was cool. I guess I have grown a little bit to know that I want more than that. I guess the only thing I wanted now was something that lasts. I'm not trying to get involved with something that is gonna end a few months from now. I'm not gonna dwell on it too much longer though, I think after writing this I'll probably be well vented and pretty much done.
Why do I think it would work? My parents.... My dad and my stepmother were good friends before they were together and they're doin good. Why else do I think it would work.... If I was in that situation I would want it to work. I don't think what I have to say could really satisfy the masses but its a start for me.


To My Best Friend?
by Shannbodan


This is for the greatest person
that I have ever known.
Being away from you for so long
I am feeling so alone.
With you I am so happy
you keep my heart content.
But I had to be a volunteer -
so off to England I went.
That is where I found my heart
and how I feel for you.
I try so hard to deny this feeling
and I don't know what to do.
I said that I would never again
let someone take my heart.
And here I'm sitting wanting you
and hate that we're apart.
Everyday you are in my thoughts,
every night you're in my dreams.
I can't believe what's happening,
is this really what it seems?
I know you're only wanting
to be the best of friends,
but I am asking you sincerely
if it's your rule you'll bend.
To take a chance to know me
to let me share it all.
And maybe one day very soon
for me one day you'll fall.
Our friendship we now have
is something that I'd miss
but maybe once we let go
we will find eternal bliss.



http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=591

You know what I don't know if it's difficult or not but its a pretty interesting situation, liking someone who is a good friend of yours. I don't even know how to characterize it even though I am in it. I guess somedays are better than others about how I feel about it. I do know its just something I need to deal with it, its not really like anything is gonna change anytime soon. I probably care a little bit more than i should....but who cares. :)

Well I would definitely say that my 2 1/2 week AT in South Dakota was indeed a pretty interesting one. It started with our bus to the airport going down a street not accessible by any type of big vehicle in which it got stuck. Of course it was already late and about time the bus was able to get free we missed our flight. So thanks to the good ole Army they put us on a bus from Cincinnati, OH to Custer, SD... that turned into a 28 hr road trip. I guess the bus trip wasn't too bad since I hooked up my PS2 to the bus so we could watch DVDs the whole ride there. I also found out that Nextel does not work in South Dakota....typical. Well I guess when there are only about 760k people in a whole state you tend to lose track of the people in that state if you're a big cell phone company. The worst part of the 2 weeks of course was the fact we had to stay in the woods most of the time. I guess the woods wouldn't be so bad if it felt like you were camping out, but this wasn't camping out. This was like being sent to a detention facility in the middle of nowhere. Interesting enough I did see one of those out there. Moving on to being stuck in the woods, I decided to listen to my friend who wanted to sleep on the outside of the tent since it was so nice (Now I knew it was going to turn bad just cause he wanted to). So of course 2 days later it gets cold and rainy, then it stays like that for a few days. Since then we have transferred our location from outside of the tent to a nearby humvee trailer that was sitting being unused. So we braved the elements most of the time without heat or electricity, pulling guard duties in the pitch black night with visions of mountain lions gnawing on your bones keeping me awake. Since it was so much open land and trees when the wind blue it sounded like a car zooming by on the highway. Things did start to shape up towards the end, some tents did get electricity and heat. We also got some night vision goggles to play with at night during duty, so i didnt have to think mountain lions were trying to sneak up on me. Through all this we had to incorporate a whole lot of military training. I will definitely say that I have a much greater appreciation of the training we do because like they said it will be something we will need if we get deployed. When we finally got out of the field things got a little better we were able to go out and see the city we were in. It was definitely a small city, but in my opinion it was a city I could see myself going back to. I will definitely say the ratio of women to men was something to behold. So I made it back and I didn't get eaten by a mountain lion like I thought I would so it was cool.

I think I'm finally starting to get mentally prepared for a tour of the Middle East. I know that now being in the Army reserves almost guarantees you a ticket over there. Our unit will probably leave out close to the end of the year. Of course I know its something that I will have to get used to and I'm up for the challenge. I know the change I need to make in myself will have to be a big one.

Dating....very interesting process. The dread and excitement of meeting someone new, them getting to know you, you getting to know you .... an easy process for some, for others its more of a struggle. I guess I'm kinda in the middle, leaning more towards the "struggle" side. I guess what makes it a struggle for me is seeing if people are willing to understand the person that I am. I tend to be a type of person that stays pretty low key if I'm not really used to a situation. Even then my change is on a schedule, not really one of drastic but not really grdual, I think it just takes time to get to know anybody and I'm surely no different. So I guess I'm going to give this whole dating thing a decent shot since I really haven't in the past. I have to make sure I remember that no one is going to know you right off the back and misconceptions are common. I guess in the end what I want to find is someone who has a better understanding of who I am through interacting with me.

Well my son should be here while I'm at work, him and his mother should have come in fairly recently. He could of left her at home but I don't think they allow 6 year olds to drive. I guess I'm going through the more difficult phase of the whole daddy process, dealing w/ the other parent. Not really just dealing w/ them but dealing with them when there is a disagreement. I was asked for advice on what they should do, I gave the advice and know I'm seen as controlling someone else's life for it.... ok, fine no more advice. But this will pass though, so I'm not worried. Now I just need to get things cleared up with my mother.

Oh, the freakin house is still not finished yet. :|

Damn its hot... and tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter. All I need now is a place to go to see pretty women with very little clothes.

Well today is going to be another boring post of what I did today... I worked on my house. I cut the plywood to put down in my laundry room so I can put the vinyl on top of it. I also finished the last 2 pieces of the hardwood floor for the hallway... other than that I did some more cleaning.

You know something that I noticed that is pretty funny is that alot of the girls I meet now don't eat red meat. I'm not sure when it happened but all of a sudden everyone is a vegetarian. Interesting....

See... That's what I get for not checking emails at work, I missed a 3 o'clock meeting today. They didn't say anything about it, but I know they're going to bring it up at a later date.
That pt test was no joke, my muscles are still killin me.... I need to start working out more. What did I get accomplished today...Well I finished putting in my tile floor today (somewhat, still needs grout) I'm tired... I'll be back.

I went and bought that tile to put in front of my back door, it went down pretty easy. I'll have to finish it up either today or tomorrow. It looks as if there is some water coming in through the weather stripping on my front door, so that means I won't be able to put the wood down right there until I get that fixed. I still won't be able to put the carpet in the back room till I find out where that water is coming from back there either.
Enough of the home improvement talk, I actually had some people contact me about buying the pontiac. I might go ahead and sell it to our next door neighbor's daughter though, her and her boyfriend have a newborn so they need the transportation. I was going to sell it for $800 but I see they need a car so I'm going to let them have it for $400, I hope they take care of it it was a pretty good car to me. Anything interesting happening in my life today at this moment no, I'm at work trying to scratch up some work to do. Things are starting to get slim, so I've also been looking at monster.com for any other opportunities.

The drill wasn't too bad, a lot of work though but it was ok. I actually passed my PT test, I really didn't think I was going to but I did it so I'm good. There were a few disappointments though. It was definitely confirmed that I won't be able to go on our AT (Annual Training) to Fort Meade, MD and I'll be stuck going to South Dakota with everyone else. All because of my unit not letting me now when stuff is wrong, my unit sucks. The last 2 ATs that I've been on were excellent, I went to Fort Bliss, TX (El Paso) last year and Wiesbaden Army Airfield in Germany. With those ATs I with a small group of people, its a known fact that if you go on an AT other than the company AT its gonna be good. My first year we went to Fort McCoy, WI, that was hell due to the 10-11 hour work days. But... Me being me I still went out everyday when we were there. I was determined to have fun no matter what. So this year in South Dakota is going to be no different, they even asked me to bring my satellite hookup...so its definitely going to be interesting.

This whole Iraq situation has really shakin things up in the military. One of the disappointing things that happened this weekend was when they told us that there was no longer an IRR. Now for those who don't know the IRR is the Inactive Ready Reserve, I am an Active Reservist myself. When you sign up you sign up for 6 years active reserve and 2 years inactive. So basically the just lengthened my stay in the military for another 2 years. Then anyone who is inactive right now, will be activated again. So there are going to be some angry people out there. Then they told us that our unit will be called up for rotation into Iraq fiscal year 05, which for the military is in Oct. So this is all so interesting.... Oh, and they said we probably will get activated for 18-24 months. :| This is just looking more and more promising.

I actually went back to The Yellow Rose last night after I swore I would never go there again. I only went because it was my friend's cousin's birthday, I know that's not really an excuse to go to a club I hate...but I'm always up to ride unfortunately. It wasn't too bad, but I'm not gonna become a regular or anything. I just feel I got my $3 worth that's about it. So of course doing that threw off my plan to finish up some major stuff on my house. I woke up this morning and got some stuff from Home Depot then came back home and was knocked out. It was some good sleep, but it didnt prove to be very productive. Now I have drill tomorrow which I'm dreading because I don't want to take the PT test. *Sigh* Well we'll just see how everything turns out.
I got some pretty slick ideas for the house though. I've been watching alot of different shows and getting ideas from different books. I didn't want the house to look like the bachelor pad that it actually is. I want to jazz it up to the point to where people will have to ask who helped me think of the ideas.
Ooo...I bought Siphon Filter:Omega Strain today...so I'll see how it is. In fact, I'll do that now.

Another drill weekend....These things just seem to pop up out the blue. Of course I'm just so very happy with going, but I signed up so I guess I better do it. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if we didnt have to do that stupid P.T. test. Oh well, the weekend will be over fairly quickly. Good news is that I got my floor done in the hallway and it looks pretty good. I'm getting really excited over this house stuff.... I even find myself wanting to go to Home Depot, Scary Stuff. When I was a kid I used to dread going out with my parents because I knew we would end up in some freakin hardware store somewhere. I've wasted many precious years of my life in hardware stores. It's cool now though, I got my own stuff to work on and I'm enjoying it.

Of course out all the days they say its gonna rain, its gonna do it on the one day I actually decide to ride my bike to work.... This is gonna be interesting.

House is still coming together slowly, unfortunately though while I was putting down the hardwood floor in the hallway somewhere in the process I made one of the pieces crooked. Of course I didnt notice it till I got further down the line, so now I have to go back and redo some of that. I'll get the rest of my carpet done probably next week, so that'll mean all the floors will be done except for the one in the laundry area...which is the one that NEEDS to be done. With that floor not being done I cant reinstall the water heater, which means I can't turn the gas back on, which means I can't run the air. Oh, and the bathroom still needs to be finished too. Right now the plumbing doesnt want to match up with I actually want so now the cabinets won't go back in right. If I just get my butt in there and start getting things done I'll be pretty good.
Well the temperature is right to be out riding but this rain in the forecast is killin me. I did get some good motorcycle riding in over the weekend though. It's still funny the looks that I get when people see my bike. I guess they've never seen one with tiger stripe fur on it before. I got some pretty good ideas on how to make it easier for me to put that stuff on...maybe I could even make a biz plan out of it.

Well the house is getting closer and closer to finally being finished, once the plumbing is completed and the floor in the laundry room is done then maybe it will speed up even more.

You know, I was going to speak on the subject of dating ... this is not easy ritual it was back in high school. Honestly, I'm not even sure what to do. How do I meet people if I'm really not out at people places? What is the best strategy to even find someone, let alone even kick things off with a person? Should I do the online thing, should I just go to different places and just hang out constantly or what?
I had a recent discussion about some things a guy might do to try and win over a woman. I was trying to point out that some women just don't want to date you right off the back, or even act like they like you. If you see that there is something special about a person, do you just ignore it and walk away? do you try to do all you can to change their mind? do you try to become a friend in hopes that one day, things will change? All of those could easily be seen as the wrong thing to do depending on the person. Should I even be looking? maybe one day I'll just trip over a special someone and that will be it. I'm getting to the point to where its hard to even like people, because more than likely its not gonna happen.

Well since the last update I finally got my bike back together with the fur 90% completed. The looks and reactions that I get are hilarious, I was kind of wondering what kind of reactions I would get but this is great. I just have to finish it up and make it look clean and stuff.

Freakin part is still on order for my bike, Hopefully it will be here by the end of next week. I still need to finish that fur anyways ... unfortunately it seems as if I broke off a little tab on the fork of the bike. Im hoping its not gonna affect if the gearbox stays on or not because if it does cause trouble im gonna need to invest in some forks. X-(

Well how is the rest of my life going, well I guess things are goin good ... they could be better but Im not complaining.

Two days in a row with access ..... I'm starting to have renewed faith in the network admins here. Well I just got my new front tire for my bike today, a Dunlop D208ZR, very nice if I do say so. Now I just have to wait till I get the freakin speedometer gearbox so that I can put it back together. I'm almost done furring it as well, I would be done but I'm not really that motivated since I still can't ride the freakin thing. I might try to find some brake pads as well or somethin ... I guess I can fix whatever else is wrong since my bike is currently is so many freakin pieces. I had a friend of a friend try to talk me out of putting fur on my bike, he told me that he would paint it instead and that "We're not in California". Not really sure what putting fur on my bike has to do with being in California, but oh well. I told him I'll let him paint it but soon after I said that I began putting more fur on the bike. If he doesn't like it ... I really don't give a damn, besides I need to get my plastics repaired before I can paint them anyways. The fur looks pretty good though, it needs some clean up work though but it'll do. It's currently sporting the tiger stripe fur I'll get some picks up when I'm done. So what all can I cram into this little page about my life since last November. Well that's a lot of stuff to talk about, I got a tattoo for one .... for two and the rest of the numbers I'll have to talk about that later.

On top of all the mess that's goin on I happened to break a piece off my motorcycle. I figured "Hey, why not save some money and take my front wheel off" :::Note to self - Let them take the freakin wheel off next time::: I think I can be handy with the tools, but I always seem to break the stuff though. So now I'm out 1 speedometer gearbox .... What's that? You don't know what it is .... Well its located on the front wheel between the fork and since I skipped a step when following instructions I completely disintegrated it. So that'll be an extra $60 I could have spent elsewhere, so I'll be a little late getting my bike up and running for the season.

Okay .... First of all, I need my internet back. This not having it at home thing isn't cool at all, and my company is kind of spastic about the rules they have on the content filtering so every once in awhile I am able to get access on Blogger. Well I don't know, I guess I got so many things going on but at the same time I dont. Sometimes I amaze myself at the shit I can cause, hopefully one day I can end all of that.

Support your local stunt rider The link goes to the radio station website that says they're gonna give away 1 million dollars to the person that recruits the most people to sign up under them. I go over to Stuntlife.com alot and this is where I got the link from, the guy says he'll use it to get some more stunt riding events going. I signed up...didn't kill me.
Today...just another day, not much goin on....I am pretty damn hungry right now though can't even concentrate. gotta get food.

Sprint PCS Picture Website

Well I figured out what the deal with Sprint was....the website won't work with Mozilla, Well the picture.sprintpcs.com at least. I don't understand why different sites can work one day and then the next they just don't....oh well.

::: Edit :::
Speaking of which the new address for the Sprint picture site is http://pictures.sprintpcs.com
I don't have my Sprint phone anymore since I switched to Nextel but I guess I'll be dragged back to Sprint kicking and screaming one way or another.

Well I went to the auction Sat. and picked me up the 626 I was talkin bout. It's a pretty nice car, I'm gonna try and resell it though and get some more money to buy a different car. I'll probably do that until I get a decent car that I like. I was trying to look up the blue book value of the car, its sayin that for a private party I can probably find one in my condition selling for about $2500. I'll put it up for like $3200 O.B.O. and I'll see how it goes. It was pretty decent earlier today, about 60 degrees....I wanted to pull the bike out and ride but I need a new front tire. ......So of course I did it anyway....Hey, I needed gas :) Well I brought it back home and wound up dropping it in the garage trying to put it on the center stand. The bad part came when I was trying to get it up and broke off the button for the starter....sux. So I'll have to price that to see how much I'm gonna get hit up for that. I smell like a freakin gas tank right now though, because some gas war coming out when it was on its side. Good news is I didnt flood the tank.
Tomorrow its supposed to be like 66, but of course its gonna rain the whole day.....oh yea, i forgot...I can't ride my bike anyways. ( We'll see )

If no one knows....Sprint sucks, for some odd reason the pictures website has been down for 3 days for "Maintenance and enhancements". If it takes this long to do that it better be good......and what if it isn't, Well then I'm just basically screwed yet again by Sprint. I have so many freakin pictures that I would never be able to move all of them with my cell phone. It already takes five minutes to get to the 6th picture in my inbox.
Oh, great news....my car is trying to tell me something, "Fix me damnnit" it seems as if one of my spark plugs was cross threaded when it was put into the head. So now I have to either get a new head for my car...or get the hole fixed, both of which I dont think is gonna come cheap. Well maybe the head will...who knows, just have to find out. That means I'll be without a car for awhile, unless I happen to get the one I want at this auction tomorrow.

Well I had my pre-arraignment for my reckless operation ticket, went in and pleaded not guilty so I have a pre-trial later on this month. I started a thread about this on the StarBoyz Forum I got some great responses back that made me understand the specific ordinance they're trying to throw at me. If my pre-paid lawyers do their job I should be able to get off the hook for it. Since I wasn't endangering anyone's lives or personal property I should be good.
Other news, I'm going to an auto auction this weekend....tryin to get this 95 Mazda 626 hopefully I can get it for the low. I would get that...sell my pontiac and then work on selling that so I could get another car.
Have you ever had one of those moments where it feels like everything you do is life changing? But the moment lasts a few hours and every second seems like eternity. I'm not saying this happened today or anything but today just made me remember the past. What if it turns out that some of the things you think you're doing for the right reason, really isn't the right reason or even a good reason. What if what you really think is meant to be...really isn't, that would mean that what's going to happen is still going to happen regardless of whether or not you think you know what it is. All these riddles for somethin so damn simple.

It's about 66 degrees currently and I can't ride my bike, my tires are seriously bald and in need of changing. I'll probably wait till december to get them, I know I'm not going to be riding anytime soon so I might as well wait....actually I probably would of still been riding if I had new tires anyways. My name has been officially changed, went and had my final court hearing today. Other than that today has been a pretty normal day...nothing too exciting happening. I am eyeing this car, its a used Lumina...I forget how many miles it has. I'll probably go there and wave some money in his face and see if he'll give it to me. Then I'll turn around and sell my car, I need to start building up some extra cash flow so that I can afford it get a new bike and a new car next year. This is the bike I want This is the car I want
I think its pretty possible to get both of those, get my house done, and get another house to either sell or Section 8. Which reminds me that I forgot to go look at houses today, but I guess since It seems like I have no time anyways I'll probably have to wait till later in the week.

Well what is on my mind for today, Well I guess tomorrow I go for my official name change. Its been a long time coming...don't really know if I'm excited though, Its almost like I'm becoming another person. Maybe I could stand a change, I kind of crudded up my current name for the time being. You know what....at one point I thought that I would be able to write on here things I wanted to say that I knew I wouldn't be able to all the time. Now it feels like I've backed myself into a corner to where I have to censor myself. Things I write on here will have a good chance of getting read and interpreted in ways that I probably don't want it to be. That's probably cool with people I don't know and don't associate with on a regular basis. What if I say something on here and then I have to answer for it because someone doesn't understand......I don't really care if they don't understand but i don't really want to answer questions about it either. Oh well, just got to live with it I guess. Veronica (currently in Iraq - Germany girl to those that know) said she had leave coming up on Dec. 13th, she didn't tell me if she was goin back to Germany or coming to the states...hopefully she'll be able to email me again so I can find out.

Well I got to see my movie yesterday, I even went again today....of course there are a lot of people that didn't like it but I got out of it what I wanted. Anyways, its cold now...so I guess that means the bike can be put up for the winter. ( I think I need to put it up anyways because I need a new front tire) *Sigh* I'm already starting to miss riding, but I'm gonna be on my hustle this winter so by next year I'll have another bike to play with. I'll probably spend this time finding other riders, new riders and possibly gettin a crew together. Next summer is gonna be pretty crazy, I have definitely turned into a motorcycle nut and I'm tryin to bring along as many people as possible. Right now I only know of a few that are definites to get bikes, others are hopefuls. I'm lookin pretty hard for stuff about stuntin.....
*Sigh* I got to fill out 2 absence forms for this week for work for being late. I just need to make sure I get here on time the rest of the time. I also need to get some more stuff to put in my cube....It's lookin kinda bare.

Well the last few days of this heat wave are leaving, so we'll be back down to the mid-50s pretty soon. I guess for normal people that would be the end of the bike riding as well.....not me, as long as its not freezing I'll be riding. I need to at least get a good wheelie in before the winter. Hopefully the people that were planning on getting bikes next summer will still get them. They just need someone around that's gonna continue to hype them up, I guess I can be that person. Also need to make sure I try to get more people to go the stunt class in Cleveland, that should be some good times so when we come back we can have our own stunt team. Next summer should prove to be a pretty good one, I think by that time a lot of people are getting more established, people will have their bikes, and everybody will just be having fun.

Well, I guess tomorrow is the day....Matrix Revolutions comes out, I'm going to be at the 9 a.m. showing. (I'm such a Matrix nut) I've been reading all the reviews about it and the critics have not been nice at all. I guess that's what you should expect though...their critics. I just don't think they understand all the other mediums the Matrix comes to us in. I guess if they just saw what I saw then they could appreciate it more.

Anyways, I guess I've already talked about bike riding and the Matrix...what else can I talk about? I guess my best friend is a good candidate. I guess the super secret news is that he's supposed to be moving down here....from a few months till for good. Is this a good thing? As long as he knows that he's coming here to work on himself then it will be, if he's coming here to reestablish what he had in Milwaukee...then there's gonna be some problems. Of course, he would want me to help him rebuild him empire...which I'm not going to do. It took me years to shake off the effects of Milwaukee, and now I'm clean and sober (don't worry there were no drugs involved)....just in the sense that I'm not the same person I was back then, and that I'm not all that eager to reclaim my once held position. *sigh* Well I guess I will only find out when he gets here.

What else....We moved offices...We were on the 2nd floor, now we're on the 4th I know that's not really exciting....but it sure is something different. My cube has a little bit more space but I'm not sure if its from the desk or just the new organization of my stuff on it.

Cookie...Smookie...Someone needs to give me a cookie for dealing with my freakin CIS 111 professor. I don't think I've ever met anyone so hell bent on destroying me, well not just me her students in general. Well I guess that can't be the case because she treats her favorites like......well her favorites. I turn in superb work and still manage to get so many points taken off...its ridiculous. I'll fix her though, I'll get all of this straightened out.

I'll give a cookie to anyone who knows what this is?

Yes.....I'm slackin...I know. I'll get it together soon enough though, time just seems to be going by so fast though...I need to catch up. It's getting very chilly now...I guess I'll concede and get my bike ready for the winter. It's been fun while the time lasted now I need to concentrate on other things, like getting out of my CIS 111 before my professor tries to come up with new things that she can do to get me out of her class. We'll see tomorrow.......*Note to self - I still need to write that letter.

Another moment to think....a guy that works with me died earlier this morning NEWS REPORT This is not something you can get used to, you see a person one day and they're gone the next. There's no warning....you don't see it coming...there's no billboard...no signs...just death. What will his family do? What's going to happen to his kids? Does that mean he really isn't going to be coming into work today? I mean...for real...he can't be dead, I know him....I helped him move his family into their new house. We would go to the movies in our off time...it can't be for real. Where's the guy that says "Yo Yo Yo!" whenever he walks in. Hmmmm...I don't know...you never know.

There we go!!!!

The weekend is almost upon us.....I'm looking forward to it, but I already know that I'm going to do a lot of work this weekend. I got a programming project due on monday and I need to try and work on this program for work.....ALSO...I need to get my bike legal (Title, tags,etc...) Even though its cold I'll probably still be riding...... :D *Big Cheese* I'm actually getting hype....there's a lot of stuff I plan on doing to that bike and I can't wait. Today was pretty uneventful, I spent most of the day waiting to go to work. I started watching K-Pax on TV at about 2:30 and of course I started to get into the movie right before I had to go (I was almost late to work) and then I had to miss the last 15 mins of it. That's always the worst. I just put together a new Redhat 9 box that I'm going to use as a repair box while I fix another computer that has Windows XP on it. I might even wind up putting Redhat 9 on that box if I can get the repair box to do everything I think is needed. Speaking on Linux, I called myself investing in the future welfare of the computers that are on our desks at the help desk I work at. I would definitely like to be using linux but of course there's that one software program that we need that only runs on Windows.... Remedy. As of right now there aren't any truly successful implementations of people getting Remedy to work on linux. Well one of our network admins said that he was able to do it, only he was only able to do it under Lindows. Well I guess its better than nothing so I figured I'd chime in and get him the new 4.0 version because I really hate windows NT. Well I decided to try it out for myself at home.....it sucks. So I think what needs to happen is to find another way to get remedy in Linux. Hopefully if I search long enough I'll find something.

www.UpOnOne.com - Motorcycle Videos, Pictures, Links, News, Reviews, How To's, Shops and More! This is where I'm going to learn the EXTRAs that come with riding a bike. Also ZX6R.com - For the Ninja Riders

But let me emphasize that there are so many mor things out there like what I just talked about, I just didn't want to take up the whole page.

What is it that disturbs me?.....hmmm.....The color of this damn blog disturbs me, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. I think two things that bother me the most right now in the US are rights and technology. Of course technology rights are a big thing with me since I'm so into technology. Well what's going on and why am I disturbed? Back when the thoughts of shutting down Napster I began to develop my own opinion of what was going on. Yes, I was one of the millions downloading music from there....does it make it right? No....but I wasn't going to pay $17 for CDs that were utter crap. I had a few speeches and papers that I needed to do for my communications and english classes at my college....so I wrote about Napster. I didn't sit and write about how I just wanted to download music for free forever and ever, I actually wanted to see what was going to happen down the road because of this. What I found scared the crap out of me really, it showed me that in the years to come what we wanted in regards to technological innovation was not going to occur....not because it wasn't thought up or implemented but because someone a few years back made laws that stifled that innovation before it could have even come to bloom. We go theDMCA you can see more info about it at Anti-DMCA, basically I would go to The Electronic Frontier Foundation because they have all the laws, bills that are being introduced, reintroduced....whatever. If you look at the different things that have been introduced you can just tell that these weren't made for the people in mind, in fact the people can protest till they're blue in the face but no one is listening. Does that mean stop telling? stop getting the word out against these rights infringing laws? of course not. Let's take the DMCA for example they have took upon themselves to sue everybody....businesses....individuals....anybody that has any kind of connections with P2P File Sharing, but for christ's sake they sued a 12 yr old girl and 71 yr old man...just recently they wanted to sue a 66 yr old women for $300,000,000.00 I all the zeroes in so you could see how much money that is. (The woman was a case of mistaken identity) Come on now, this is ridiculous....if it's that serious I won't even bother to buy CDs anymore, because this is sure not encouraging me to. Then you got the Copy Protected Media if you do buy CDs. Then you got Internet Censorship going on....but its going on with Google and what something like that does is basically erase whatever it is from existence. Why? because the majority of the people use google to search and if you can't find it in google you probably won't look elsewhere to find it. That's some heavy stuff, but it as well goes unnoticed by the public...then you got things that were supposed to be here to help us which could really be used against us. USA Patriot Act Even this crap with SCO and GNU/Linux is garbage the only thing that all of these issues really shows is that money talks and not everything is done FOR the people. The GNU/Linux issue is of concern to me since I like to run it myself, but the bad mouthing that Mircosfot is doing is pissing me off. I guess the hope for me there is that so many other countries are migrating to GNU/Linux that if there ever comes a time where the US just pasts some crazy law, banning Linux I'll have plenty of other places to live. Well that was my partial rant for the day....gotta go.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Recipe - On a George Foreman Grill

Yes, you heard it right......Grilled Cookies. Now, this wasn't my idea but the results were pretty good....Especially for cookies baked on a grill. The grill shown above is not actually the one that I own, mine is a little smaller....$10 at Walmart. I wasn't really the one baking either, a co-worker of mine decided to borrow my grill.....why he had the cookies at work? dont ask. Anyways, what he did to bake his foreman cookies: He used the cookie dough sqaures they might have been Toll House, I can't remember. He also elevated the front a little to make sure the cookies didn't slide out. Since my grill was so small he sat them 3 across and left them in there for about 3 - 3 1/2 minutes. Yes, they did come out slightly burnt and funny looking....but hey he made cookies on a Foreman grill. I don't know of any health issues with this....so try at your own risk, if I get some crazy cookie disease then you know something went wrong.

I need a new car......I need a new identity with good credit so I can get a new car. *sigh* Bad credit sucks....I mean really sucks, I wish I would of new that when I was having funfunfun charging up everything under the sun with those first credit cards. It's my fault though, being hard-headed I should have listened to my parents. (Now that's a first) Anyways, I will work somethin out. My first design project for my programming class is due tomorrow and I also have to figure out when I'm going to test out of my pre-req for the class as well.......busy busy. The nice days are leaving and I don't have the title or tags for my bike...so I'll probably miss out on the last of the nice days. Don't matter I'll ride it when its freezing :) Okay, well maybe not.

Well I haven't been posting in awhile....everything is moving too fast. I've since started classes....I've since dropped classes, not because they were hard or I didn't want to take them I'm just trying to test out of them. Dealt with a retarded teacher with an ego problem and she had the nerve to say I had one after I said "I know more about computers than anyone I know" of course she threw in her...."Not more than me comment". But I don't feel like talkin about her anymore. I've even finished my motorcycle class and of course I passed.....You wanna see somethin else Check this out! It's not my actual bike, but it's the one that I bought same color, same year and everything. So even though its too cold this year, watch out cuz next year is gonna be crazy.

Thursday already.....this week is going by pretty fast, unfortunately yesterday I mistakingly thought it was my day off and about time I realized it wasn't I was about 45 mins late. Well today is actually my day off and I'll be attending my classroom portion of my BRC or motorcycle class. So today should be pretty interesting, I also received all of my information from when I submitted my paperwork for my company. It looks all official like, now I just need to talk to someone and figure out what the hell all of it means.

Slashdot | RIAA Sues 12-Year Old Girl I definitely have to say that there has to be something wrong with this......a 12 year old girl. They're even suing a 71 year old grandfather.....this is truly ridiculous.

Yea, its been a few days without a post...I guess a bunch has been going on. Somebody tried to steal my car last saturday right before I left for my reserve drill. (So that put a damper on the rest of my weekend) They tore off the lock on my passenger door and busted up my steering column....I wanted to invest in one of these airsoft BB guns. Then I'll camp out and wait for them......mwuhahaha!!! Well they didn't take anything for now, I need to buy an alarm though. Other than that drill...was drill, I had a PT test on Saturday that I'm still sore from. On Sunday we had a picnic that had me bored to tears. Yesterday, I ran around like a chicken with his head cut off and today I did absolutely nothing. Tomorrow, however is my classroom training for my motorcycle class and then this weekend we'll do the riding portion. I'm pretty excited about that, my friend was going to sell his ninja 600 to me for $1500 but of course I had already spent the money and had to let the bike slip away :( damnit. Work has been okay so far today I guess....nothing to crazy has happened. I did find some interesting things though searching on the net. Asterisk - The Open Source Linux PBX what is it you say? It's my key to not paying a damn thing for using the phone utilizing VoIP. Then I could even possibly turn over a profit if I integrate it with some other business ideas. I got to the Asterisk site via this one...Internet Telephone supported on GNU/Linux of course.

Go Here...and click on stuff Well it looks like MozillaFirebird is working for me for the blog...let's see how long it lasts.
Well I've putting in long hours trying to get the music in my car just right, I've spent quite a few dollars as well. For everyone's information, I drive a '90 Pontiac 6000 it isn't the greatest of all cars...but I don't have a car payment so its good. Well awhile ago my radio got stolen and I swore I wasn't going to put another radio in it....so I've been riding in silence for months. Well I finally broke down and bought this expensive radio that plays MP3s as well as gets satellite radio. I was going to take it back but I'm glad I didn't, since then I've gotten all new speakers in the car....3 amps...tweeters....crossovers. I have to say my car sounds very damn good now....I'm so happy, it has put the joy back in driving for me. I know I'm not finished yet so I'll keep updating about the latest stuff.
Other than working on my car I have been doing damn near nothin. I'm enrolled full-time for school and that starts on the 14th....still working on my house. I know this is a boring entry but I'll have more after my reserve drill this weekend.

Ok this is really retarded...Mozilla still does not work with my blog, I don't understand why. I haven't updated either but that's beside the point. Oh...for those people experiencing problems with their Roadrunner and MSN Messenger this is something you should look at

I do have to talk about my ventures that I'm trying to get into, maybe not right now but soon. CWN (Community Wireless Network) something like SeattleWireless.net, I would really like to do that but I would also build that into the NetShare program that Speakeasy has. So I would be able to offer those on the network internet access but to make it sweeter I would offer VoIP services so that they could make unlimited long distance calls for however much a month. I would roll it all up into a nice little plan.

Time Flys.....Had a pretty good weekend even though it rained every damn day, but it was still good. I guess I should go back to last Wed. then move forward huh. Well I got my Vonage stuff last thursday I think, and it works pretty good the only thing I had to do was plug in my ATA 186 and everything was ready to go. My one complaint is that for some reason its not forwarding my calls to my cell phone when I set it up...I'll call tech support on that one. My court date for my name change will be in November, so I'll be official now. I also registered for my classes last week, I wasn't really looking forward to registering but after I talked with my counselor I got hype. He was one of those people that will analyze you from the second he saw you. I knew what he was doing but it was cool cuz I knew he was doing it to help....and help he did. He suggested that I change my major to one that suited me a lot more instead of battling it out in some stupid Western Civ classes. He also showed me how this training that I'm getting through the Army for my CCNA and MCSE can be turned in to credit.....more than 60 hours of credit to be exact. So I'll be done with my Associates by the summer, I'll have at least 2 certs, and all my classes are cakewalk from now till then. On Sat. I helped this guy from work move and of course on the way up there my alternator dies, so he picked me up and we finished getting his stuff moved. Then afterwards I go buy an alternator and we go to hook it up, it was taking forever to get the stupid thing out then for some reason when we were putting it in this mechanic looking to bum some money drove up and asked if he could help. We let him help and he pretty much threw that alternator in with no problems, then we needed a jump start but none of us had cables. So he takes my speaker wire and makes some jumper cables out of it....I actually never knew you could do that but now I know. I will have to admit that the reason for the premature demise of my alternator has something to do with my stereo. I got a new Kenwood head unit, plus I have 2-10" subs, 1-500 Watt amp, 1-400 Watt amp, 2- new 4x6's and tweeters, plus a crossover thrown in there....oh and satellite radio. All of this in a 1990 pontiac 6000Not mine...mine is blue I'm going to make it a nice little ride to ride around in. It sounds great right now, I'm going to put some more stuff into it though...a lot more.
Continuing on with the weekend, I went to my Oma's house on Sunday and stayed there and chilled with the family all day...that was cool. Monday I did much of nothing except work on my car and watch the rain. Today did the same as yesterday but today I had to work. So that was the wrapup in a nutshell.

Well of course after I got all worked up about my new Vonage account a guy at work shows me something with a lower price....like $20 less. That sux. Of course it does basically the same thing and even has my zip code which the I currently has doesn't. I should switch over, but hell....I think I'll keep it anyways if I'm not happy with it then I'll change down the line. Other work news, I got my shiny new 450Mhz today...there's a noticeable speed difference but NT still sucks. I was given this project as well that I've basically been slacking on, it's supposed to be done by Friday so I guess I better start putting some actual work behind it. I don't know why I even said that I could do it....I guess that'll teach me.
I bought some more audio stuff for my car today and then I went looking for a new car....new car audio stuff in old funny lookin car just seems wrong. So I went looking for some new shiny paint bucket, I found a couple and then I even tried to find out if I could get financing. Of course it came back denied because of my wonderful credit history but oddly enough I can go in for a home loan and get approved a lot easier....I don't understand. What else happened? The weather sucks....it was raining like crazy today and I happened to get stuck in it, but I felt better because I was carrying a bunch of audio equipment. Well off to work...

For some odd reason blogger is no longer working with Mozilla 1.4b or whatever I have, either I'll update or continue to complain about it...whichever is easier. Well....do I feel better today? somewhat. I still feel like I have sent things off in a bad direction for everyone. Enough of that though, interestingly enough I had a pretty good day at work so far...I'm not really as bored as I have been on other days, great start. I did talk to one of our Network Admin guys about my computer, (a Cyrix 250Mhz) it runs like crap so I sent in a ticket and he said he would hook me up with a new one...well semi new. (400 Mhz) I also recommended getting rid of our two computers (Windows NT & HP-UX) and just having one....one with Linux on it of course. The guy I talked to said he actually recommended it to his boss and his boss told him to "Keep asking me" so I guess he's just looking for someone to convince him. I think I'm pretty much up to that job, the NA guy was thinking about Lindows 4.0 because he said he actually got Remedy 5.1 working on it....if he did that then that's pretty big because so far I haven't seen anybody say they have Remedy runningy on linux. So I'm gonna pickup a copy of that for about $50 then install it at work and on a test machine at home. I would also probably make up a mock network just so I can show the other higher ups some more benefits of using linux instead of the crap we have.
Another good thing I did was setup up my Vonage Account so I should get my phone next week, with a wisconsin number...hey that's big news since I live in Ohio. I'm really excited about it....I even signed up for the affiliate program. So if anybody reads this and goes with Vonage for their Broadband phone...come holla at me. They currently don't have my area code but once they do I'll have a wisconsin number as well as an Ohio number.

Well I actually had already typed something but since I was messing with the damn template, I erased it.....Arrgghhh!!! Anyways, like I was saying before I really didn't feel in the mood to post anything but I figured I might as well since this is a part of my life. Basically what happened was that I created drama for myself, but this time the stakes seemed to be a lot higher. This has to do with an ex of my and my son's mother, it wasn't anything that you might expect....well maybe a little. I created a situation to where I was lying to people again....again, because I caused a more hostile event in the past. This time wasn't like the last but like I said the stakes are much higher, I feel a lot more horrible, and the situation is not as bad as last time. It was the lies though....the little lies turned to big lies, which are turning into life changing events. I feel like I've ruined the lives and future plans of others now....I even feel like I've changed plans for my son. I just feel bad....I just wanted everyone to walk away cuz I felt that was the right solution, in some ways it was others it might not be. So .. .. .. Here I am .. .. .. What have I done?

Interesting day so far.....I've got some big things going on today, right now I'm not gonna comment on them. As soon as everything is said and done though then I'll probably talk about it. I know I'm not giving any details at this moment but be patient they're coming. I will say though that this is probably one of those turning points in peoples' lives. At this moment lies the rest of my life....different paths....different results.

I just realized what else is missing from here.....my comments.....damn template ARRGGGHH!!! I'll fix that later as well.

Now as for the rest of my day and week since Tuesday......hmmm...... I keep waking up late everyday, oh and late is like 11 - 11:30 since I go to work at 4pm. After that my day just seems shot, so I basically haven't got anything really accomplished for the week besides sleeping. I have talked to my sister to make sure she was alright after the incident with my step-father. (He will suffer!!!... mwuhahaha!!!!) I'm still waiting on my packet for my company filing (third power investments, llc) I'm starting into the real estate investing field so I decided to setup an LLC to save me some legal hassles that might come up. I am also trying to think of a problem that needs to be solved....you know that one idea that'll just make someone stupid amounts of money. It's taking me awhile but maybe I can accomplish all these side goals first while I'm waiting on that one. A corporate desktop in Linux is one that I had in mind....why? you might ask. Because my work computer sucks!!! I mean really bad....Windows NT on a 250Mhz....come on!!! you're killing me here. So that's one thing I want to do, I think it would definitely help out at work.

Another day spent looking for PPL stuff....pre-paid legal for those that don't know. I didn't find a whole lot of new information but I did find out that Paul J. Meyer is a big supporter of PPL. (You know the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" guy) Of course, being associated with PPL he had his share of "not-so-good" moments...do a google search for "paul j meyer ftc". The only reason I'm doing all of this research though is because my best friend is so deeply rooted in this it's crazy. The people that he's with are deeply rooted in it as well, but none of them are making that great of money from it. I was trying to gather all of this information in the hopes that I could possibly show him, expose all the wrong , and hopefully show him a way out. I think he's gotten to the point now to where if I say something bad about PPL it would seem like a personal attack on him. (It doesn't help that I bought a associate membership myself from him) So now he wants me to get excited and follow the scripts on my way to millions....which I know is not gonna happen? Especially the way they tell the people to go find others. They want them to come off as know-nothings and point them over to the experts who have the real answers. Why would you want to act like a know-nothing in the first place if you're trying to promote your business. I think that's enough of my pre-paid ranting for the day though. I think I'm doing too much research on this

Today just seemed like one of those days....where nothing gets accomplished and it really feels like it. It almost felt like I was stuck, like I was moving slower than everybody else seemed to be. I did do some more research on pre-paid legal, I found some interesting stuff from 1999 where they acquired "The Peoples Network", TPN was one of those things were you sign up get a website and sell a bunch of junk on it. Well I guess PPL acquired them...not for what they were selling, but for the people selling the stuff. They convinced a majority of those people to come over and sell PPL.....Now!!!! a lot of the people that you see making the money in PPL had come over from TPN. The reason a lot of them are making so much money is because they already had a large base of people to peddle PPL to. Some were already making a lot of money in TPN so of course those people that trusted them there would trust them wherever else they went. So these people were hyped up too much from the start, but that hype is still pushing them along. I do think they push out techniques that are not good business and also just plain stupid. It all makes sense now though why all the peoples' faces you see that are PPL superstars all seem to be so buddy-buddy.

Changing that damn template really messed me up......grrrrrr. I just found out the stats weren't working since my template fiasco, fixed it so it should be logging like it should now.

Yes....yes...I know, this damn template sucks....I'll change it later. Oh, and I haven't given any details on the Bahamas trip...those I'll have to think about giving later. ( I wasn't too impressed though) I do have 2 other things that I'll speak on....one being why my step-father (Jimmy) in his right mind would actually think he could put his hand on my little sister and get away with it? the second topic being why do a few people get this idea of me being weak compared to someone else? First up, Mr. Jimmy...I will admit that my sister has an attitude (she's 20) she lives w/my mother, Mr. Jimmy, and my little brother. Like I said my sister has an attitude, but this time she didn't really show all of her charming attitude with Mr. Jimmy. I don't know if it was the medication he was on or the drinks he may have had for breakfast but he actually thought my family wouldn't do anything I guess. Well as soon as I got the call from my sister that was crying on the phone (2 things that NEVER happen) I was immediately ready to send Mr. Jimmy to someone's hospital....I then proceeded to call up the Fam and advise them of the situation. After getting aunts, uncles, and grandparents together and collecting enough drinks to make we stayed "in the mood" we left for our 45 minute journey to visit Mr. Jimmy. My aunt and grandmother stayed back and stated that me and my police officer uncle should stay outside first when we got there. (I think 4 beers calmed be down pretty good though) We got there and everything went pretty mildly, even though I didn't see Mr. Jimmy I heard he was about to shit his pants. I went in later after everyone came out and had some small talk with my mother like nothing was happening. My sister got her stuff and went to her friends house that night. So Mr. Jimmy avoided the E.R. and I avoided....well I just avoided what would of happened. So we'll see how this story unfolds.

Second thing is about people thinking I'm weak, which I think is completely ubsurd. I don't know...all I know is I'm not a weak person. What is it though? this isn't the first time that someone has mentioned that. Is it because of the way I look? or maybe because I'm on the computer too much? or maybe it's written on my face in a special ink that only everyone else can see? I do know that those people that think that are retarded because I'm doing pretty damn good for myself...so I don't know what the hell they're talking about, examine yourself...then holla back.

Vonage DigitalVoice .::. The BROADBAND Phone Company... First off I have to say "Wow!" to this site. Broadband Phone Company people!!!!! What does that mean?!? Well for me it just seems so great....the killer broadband application...you can use your internet connection for more than just downloading music and looking at websites faster. Unfortunately, at this moment they don't have any area codes for the Dayton/Springfield area ***Which sux big time*** As soon as they do though I will definitely sign-up. You can even setup virtual numbers in different area codes so people can make local phone calls to you. This definitely gets the TJ "For real...For real" mark of approval. Oh, and I'll update about my Bahamas trip in awhile.

Using a Sprint PCS Sanyo 4900 with Linux I guess we have another one that gets the "For real...For real" mark of approval. I have yet to try this out but I definitely will be making this happen soon enough....and yes that definitely was a TJ link.

Well...the shits hitting the fan again at work today----- Okay, scratch that...everything is good again. Just a few more days to go till my trip, I went and bought some clothes today....spent way too much money than I needed and I still need more clothes. (I guess that's what I get for always tryin to get the expensive clothes) I just found out my car rental is gonna be a no go, the place where I wanted to rent from only rents to people over 25 and I am only but a mere 24 yr old. oh well. I still can not connect to my router from work, but I guess that was because I still haven't tried to fix the settings on it...I'll get to that after the trip. I was trying to look up information about my upcoming trip to the bahamas and from what I can tell its pretty damn expensive if you start doing a lot of stuff. I know I want to sky dive, scuba dive, swim with the dolphins, jetski, and some other stuff that's gonna start adding up. I can just use money I was gonna use for the car on activities and food. I'm gonna be without computer access for the week though, that sucks. I saw something where I could pay $30 for a week of internet access but I think that money would best be spent in the club...oh yea! Speaking of oh yea, I also fixed my air conditioner in my car....well it didn't really need fixing, it just needed to be recharged and they have this kit out now where you can do it for like $29....oh yea! Now I just need to get everything else fixed on the "6000" then I'm good to go.

Okay next time something works...I'm not gonna try to fix it. I changed the stupid template on here and it of course took away some of the stuff I added on to my blog. I guess I should have read the fine print more carefully

Do you ever get those days where you just get mad for no reason, I think I had one last night...just out of the blue I was mad. I didn't really have anything to be mad about but I would try to find stuff to make me even madder. Very silly....I'm fine now, I think I pretty much need to be ignored if I get like that though. (Information for anybody who happens to catch me during that time) I don't have anything technical to post, I did however become a registered GNU/Linux user. :D I don't think everyone else really cares that I did but hey I'm glad. I do have a problem connecting to my smoothwall box from work, I think there was something I didn't enable...I'll fix that later. I've been lurking on the JustLinux Forums and I just got through reading through this forum. JustLinux Forums - you know when you are addicted to linux when..... Funny stuff.

Birthday time coming up....another year older. Well my birthday this year should be pretty interesting as I'm going to the bahamas. I'll have to make sure to try a little bit of everything while I'm there to soak up the experience. I don't think I'm as excited as I should be, but I think I really don't get excited about it till I get to a place that I'm going. I went to Germany last year but I really didn't say much about it till I got there and that was a damn good trip. On a side note...I almost got my Redhat box (halfpinthp) how I want it, I spent the longest time trying to figure out XFree and Xinerama. I got it working (sort of) but my second monitor just comes up with a resolution of 800x600 and I can't change it...oh well, I'll just wait a few more months then work on it. I also did a router upgrade not too long ago so now I'm running SmoothWall GPL 2.0 beta5 "Orient". So far its working great, it even managed to get my connections to my playstation running decent. Now I just need to work on the dynamic dns and vpn then I'm all good. I also have an idea for TechLife I always wanted to make a place where people could come and ask questions about anything technology related and get an answer. Well...really if people try really hard and look for it they can already find places that will do that for them. Plus I realized I'm not always the one that likes to answer computer questions all the time. So I figured I'll just write up some stuff on what I need help with or things that I'm working on. Like I'm still working on building my ubernetwork that I'm gonna use to....well let's just save that for later but I am still working on it though. I think it would be better for me to just solve problems and then tell people how I did it and then if there are any questions about that...I'll be glad to answer them. So now that I've found direction...let's get started.

junkpc.jpg I was just uploading this pic of some junk computers that we threw out not too long ago. While I'm here I guess I can rant about work for a little while, now I know Linux is not the solution to every company's computer problems. I do think however that we could benefit from some linux desktops and a few open source packages throughout the company. Right now its just ridiculous, we have two computers on our desk, an HP-UX box and a windows box. Right there you can combine those into one great linux box because neither one of those alone is worth anything. The only problem that I see is that the Remedy client doesn't work on Linux, but there was a rumor that our network admin guy got it to work under Lindows. (Haven't confirmed that yet) If we could get linux I really think our productivity would go up very high, hey while we're at it...get rid of Remedy in favor of Request Tracker. We also have a program called AccessPlus that is crap, a web app needs to take its place very very quickly. Of course since I'm whining about it I better try to come up with a solution, so hopefully I can find one (or a few) that will work.