Look at this.........

Evolutionary Psychology and Natural Rejection: Thoughts on Rejection in the Mating Process
by William A. Spriggs

Now let's suppose for a moment that we have selected someone that we would like as a mate. Once our eyes and minds are captured by someone we find attractive, and we begin to make outward movement towards this individual as a potential mating partner, something happens. When we "naturally select" or focus attraction, we "naturally reject" all other candidates. When you make a "natural selection," you set several events into motion. Your actions effect yourself, the person you have selected, and the people you have "rejected." Now this is very important here -- when our ancestors made their selection, their natural habitat was the small social herd grouping. When a selection was made, the whole herd knew who was mating with whom. And in our earlier stages of development, they most likely mated in full view of the herd. Since every one knew whom was selected, they also knew who was not selected. It may not seem that you have rejected anyone, because your sex hormones have begun to activate, and you are too busy focusing on the events that are about to occur. But this essay is about the rejection part of the mating process. What happens when beautiful people reject our advances or fail to flirt back and we become "rejected?" Simply put, it hurts emotionally. And the crux of this essay, is to ask, why?

When one is rejected in the mating selection process one feels a sense of loss, of not being able to obtain the goal of our innate mating objectives. We become saddened because we will not be allowed to feel the comfort associated with being close to a loved one. The chemical "balance" of being wanted and needed by a potential mate is very desirable. The linking of one's soul to another gives us a anchor in uncertain times. It gives justification and motivation to provide and care for one's mate and one's children. It is our passage to the next world. It is our claim to perpetuity. In the mating process, our innate feelings drive us to find that someone, because the locating of a mate is a milestone in our lives. We search for a mate because it help's to bring stability to our lives. From this stability, we then begin to focus our attention to building those events that enhance our lives and the lives of our future children. Most of us don't stay sad for long when we are rejected. The process of being rejected by a potential mate means not only negative feelings and a blow to our self-image, but the frustration of having to make the search all over again. It means going on another diet or exercise program; joining a social group to meet new possibilities; going to new places and doing new things. I theorize that, in terms of evolutionary psychology, our depression at rejection is caused by the unconscious realization that we have slipped one step closer to being pushed out of the circle that forms a core social grouping among primates-- one small step away from feeling secure--to one step closer to death and extinction.

Black Sheep Effect